The Nonsensical Happenings of Naruto!
by AuraDippy
Summary: In a world where your favorite Naruto characters look like complete imbeciles, two people dare to point out those mistakes, and laugh-alot. From the combined forces of AuraKunoichiSan and Narutodippy, we bring you the cast of Naruto in all their stupidity
1. Issue1 Hair Escapades!

Ello govna! I am the Dippy of the group, here to give you instalment two of the Nonsensicle Happenings of Naruto! First off, I just want to say, BEWARE! If you don't like things that are sagestive, than you can press the pretty green butten at the top of the screan and go find something more age apropiate! Anyways, onto the story of nonsence and fun!

(Evil laughter)

Hair Escapades!

Tenten was grumbiling in irritation. She was carrying four water canteens, one of which was her own. "This is so damn irritating." She grumbled, hating getting water duty. It was better than wood gathering which Gai had volenteared for. The syco had wanted to extra work, which made Lee want to do it too. And so ensued a pep talk about the physicle benifits of helping set up camp. "All this insanity is going to give me premature grayness." Tenten muttered as she noticed Gai in the distance, carrying his bundle of wood. He smiled at her, his teeth glistening like high beams on a car. "My kingdom, my kindom for some sunglasses." Tenten muttered as the two began to walk back towards camp.

As they neared the area, they could hear Lee and Neji, both most likely setting up camp. "How is my star femal student doing today!?" Gai hollered in Tentens ear, effectivly deffening her temporarily.

"Trying not to kill you." She muttered under her breath.

"What?" Gai asked, not hearing her threatening mutter.

"Nothing Gai-sensie." Tenten said, giving a sweet smile.

"You must not whisper things so Tenten! Speak your mind! Let the world know!" Gai hollered, again, blowing out Tentens left eardrum.

"You want to know what I'm thinking!?" Tenten shouted suddenly. "I think you're a-" "Lee...Ow, not so rough." A voice interupted. Both Student and teacher stopped mid step, eyes wide in shock. "Was that-?" Tenten asked, trailing off.

"This would be easyer if you stopped figiting." Lee's voice came next, sounding strained.

"But your hurting me! It's not easy taking it you know!" Neji hollered.

Gai dropped the logs he was carrying, ignoring them as they fell on his feet.

"Here, move your leg, i'll be able to get in easyer." Lee muttered, sounding irritated. There was a series of grunts and a few muttered curses before Neji sighed. "Better?" Lee asked.

"Yes, now, let's get this over with before they get back. I don't want to be cought like this." Neji groaned, sounding out of breath.

"That's it!" Tenten hollered, throwing the canteans to the ground runnign threw the bushes that seporated them from camp and the woods. "You two sick f--" Tenten dead panned, her face have a 'duuuuh' look on it as she saw the scene infront of her. Neji and Lee glanced up, both surprized by her entrance. Lee was in the process of untangling Neji's hair from the extentions of a bush. The said Hyuuga looked irritated as clumps of his long dark hair were inpossibly notted.

"Can we help you?" Neji muttered, seeing the dumbfounded look on Tenten's face. Tenten reclosed her mouth, aware she might swollow a passing insect.

"Um...I'm going to go get the canteens." She said suddenly, rushing off.

Lee and Neji spared a look. "You do realise what she thought we were doing?" Lee asked as he went back to work trying to free the Hyuuga.

"Little do they know, we do that in the privacy of our bed rooms." Neji concluded smirkign wildly.

Sorry if we have made fun of/ implied they were gay/ or insualted the inteligence of any of your favorate Characters. Also, I'd like to apoligize to Lee about saying he's gay.

Neji- Ahem

Oh right, and Neji (has fingures crossed)

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	2. Issue2 Trouser Troubles

**WARNING**- This Fanfiction was writen purely in the intention of entertainment. If you are offended we apologise, but I mean seriously it's just for a laugh. Don't go giving us a bad review because we may have made your favorate character seem gay, perverted, stupid, transexual, illiterate….yatta yatta yatta I should probibly just get to the damn Fan fiction already shouldn't I? Well ok then without further adu, AuraDippy Proudly presents The Non Scencical Happenings of Naruto Issue# 1.

**Trouser Troubles **

Team Gai was sitting around camp fire in the clearing of a dence forest, where they had stopped to rest and eat their dinner after finally finishing their mission.They all had in theyr hands, a bowel of leaks and rice, not the most extravagant meal, but it put something in their stomaches.Breaking the silence, Lee said, seemingly completely out of the blue, "Hey Neji. Want to see my trouser snake."

Neji spat out the rice that he had just put in his mouth, quickly hafter snapping his head in Lee's direction. "W-wha?"

"Yeah." Lee said,"It's so tiny and cute." He chriped, "Do you want to see it?" he reached into his vest, pulling out a small green garden snake. "See, a trouser snake. Isn't he adorable? He was crawling up my leg."

Neji's eye twitched as he looked upon the small reptile. And then it because obvious,Lee had no idea what the hell a trouser snake was. It was weird enough that Lee was keeping a snake in his vest, but his idea of a trouser snake made his proposal to his one a bit less disturbing. He'd just madeup a nickname for a snake that he found which coinscidentally happened to be the nickname of a certain male body part. That prude, naive idiot.

Neji sighed, "Lee, you don't know what a Trouser Snake really is?"

"What do you mean?" Lee asked innocnetly.

Neji rolled his eyes at how clueless his green clad team mate looked. "Lee, come here." he said, beconing for Lee to come closer. Lee leaned toward him, curious to know what Neji wanted to tell him.

Neji whispered something in his ear, and Lee's expression morphed completely. He looked down at the snake, and then back at Neji. "Oooooh, I get it. So that's what a trouser snake is. Well in that case, still want to see my trouser snake?"

AuraDippy: We apologise if you don't know what a trouser snake is, and therefore did not get the point of, nor were entertsined by this fanfiction (though if you consider yourself old enough to be reading Teen rated fan fictions then you should know what it is anyway sigh teenagers today, are just out of control…) And we apologise for possably offending the following people and their fans: Rock Lee. We know you're not that prude….or at least we hope. I know all you fangirls out there hope so…..if he has any fangirls…

Lee: Hey! I do too have fan girls! Why do you think there are so many racy and innapropreate pictures of me on deviant art? AuraDippy: I know, I know I was only kidding.


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